My great-great uncle Donald used to bake bread. Pretty good bread. He took out ribbons at agricultural shows round Silsden. Except, while Donald baked it, he entered it under his daughter’s names. The Yorkshire Dales of the 1930s didn’t quite know what to do with a man who baked.
My Granny was one of the show judges in the Dales from the 1950s. I think mostly preserves. I say that because, after she moved to Australia at the age of 92, she watched in mild horror one Saturday afternoon as I pell mell threw apple and blackberries into a preserving jar. I was most definitely not to show standard.
I think she might have approved of my efforts on Tuesday afternoon. I’ve submitted fruit mince this year. There’s a judge, she gets a run every second year, who thinks my fruit mince needs more time for the flavours to meld.
The pandemic delivered. It says 2021 on the jar. It’s actually a melding of currants and sultanas soaked in brandy in 2019, that came together with their apple and pear brethren in 2020, and met some new buddies in 2021 when the last of the 2020 batch became the base of the 2021 mix. My pandemic was about fruit-mince starter. 😂
The orange citrus you can see beneath the label: I used the cake testing skewer to position it there. The superficial matters at Melbourne Royal. The judges check the outside of the jar for thumb prints – I wiped down after the photo.
In some ways the show is a perfect test for me – I think it is ridiculous that my thumb print matters. In the same way I think it is ridiculous that women in leadership need a layer of makeup on to be taken seriously. Or that a man in the 1930s couldn’t bake a decent loaf of bread and get a ribbon under his own name.
But, I want to play, and so I play by their rules. And grumble about it.
And draw limits: no lemon curd anymore. It’s not that I’ll never beat Noel Button (though I suspect no one will). It’s that I prefer lemon butter in the french style. And that would be waaay too avant garde.
So the jar is in. Game on.
My money is on 2023 though. The 2022 batch is the bomb. But it’s not had the meld magic time. Bloody judging notes getting into my head. Show comp – it’s 99% psychological.
Stardust Becoming 